


I wish

by OnlyforNew



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: F/F, trigger warning suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-30
Updated: 2018-03-30
Packaged: 2019-04-16 00:32:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14152761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnlyforNew/pseuds/OnlyforNew
Summary: Sooyoung is near the edge when a girl named Jiwoo tries to comfort her.





	I wish

**Author's Note:**

> There are three possible versions of this. This is version one, the original one I planned but if you would like the other two leave a comment or something :) also this ending may confuse people but I’ve made hints to the end throughout so keep an eye out for descriptions.

Sooyoung was done. Done with what? Done with everything. Nothing was working out for her. When she was young she had all these hopes and aspirations, now she had none. She had no inspiration, no friends and her life was falling apart. 

She used to be one of the smartest people in her year. Her peers and teachers respected her and held expectations that when she left she would become successful. But that all change over the past year. 

For no reason what so ever, she started feeling, sad. Sooyoung was unfamiliar with the feeling but sadness was the closest it could be described as. This indescribable feeling had came and ever since she’d been less motivated to study, less motivated to do well, less motivated to talk to people. Which is how she ended up with no friends.

She began to close everyone else out and hardly left her house. She turned down invitations to go out and she stopped talking to the people closest to her. And the worse part was, they just let her. No one tried to get her out of her shell they just left. It made her wonder if she really meant that little to them. 

As well as social issues and motivational issues, her parents kicked her out. Why? She asked them for help. Sooyoung realises something is up and wanted to help herself but her parents were too concerned what others will think of them for having a “mentally ill” daughter. So they told her to get a life and get over it. And when she put up a fight, they got angry and told her to leave. She doesn’t know if she’s allowed to go back.

With no help, no one to turn to, and no way to get help, she’s at her wits end. And that’s how she got into this situation.

The air was sharp with frost and smacked harshly across Sooyoung’s face. The sound of silence rang out loudly in her ears almost to emphasise how alone she was in this moment. She could taste the bitter frost in her mouth and all she could smell was the musk of the river in front of her. 

She was sitting on the edge of the local river just overlooking the sunset. The river was the biggest in her small town and the most beautiful site in the city, especially at sunset. And I’m that moment, as Sooyoung stared into the almost glowing river, it never looked more inviting.

Sooyoung was contemplating jumping in.

It was deep enough plus it was her favourite place in the town, what better way to die. 

Before she could continue her thought, she felt a presence beside her. When she looked over, she saw a girl who looked a few years younger than herself. 

The girl had a small face, brown hair with cute bangs and the biggest smile on her face. Sooyoung almost found her adorable. Suddenly, the girl turned and smiled at Sooyoung scaring her.

“Hello!” The girl enthusiastically smiled while holding her hand out for Sooyoung to shake.

“Hello,” Sooyoung quietly said back while gingerly shaking the others hand.  
This was another thing that had changed about Sooyoung. She used to be outgoing and friendly but this new feeling had shattered that. Making thoughts of “they’ll hate you” and “they’re judging you” slip into her head when she even thinks about approaching new people.

“My name is Jiwoo, what’s yours?” Jiwoo gently shook Sooyoungs hand up and down while smiling encouragingly at her, as if she understands Sooyoungs worries.

“Sooyoung.” She replies forcing a small smile onto her face while retreating her hand. This was very inconvenient for her. All she wanted to do was plunge into oblivion and finally be at rest, but this girl was just prolonging her stay on Earth.

“Nice to meet you Sooyoung, can I ask you why you’re here in this weather? They say it’s colder near water, and at this time of year, it’s freezing!” Jiwoo giggles while swinging her legs just above the water. 

Sooyoung looked at the happy girl with a somewhat kind of jealousy. She looked so carefree. 

Sooyoung took a deep breathe in. What should she say? What could she say?

It seemed she didn’t have to say anything as Jiwoo took one look at Sooyoung, seeing her longing eyes looking towards the water, and the glum expression on her pale face, it didn’t take her long to figure out why the girl was here.

“Oh.” Jiwoo sighed quietly, all the while a gentle smile never leaving her face.

“If you’re going to try and convince me otherwise, there’s no point.” Sooyoung spoke monotonous. She was sure of what she wanted, and she wanted relief. This would give her that, and she wasn’t going to let someone she just met talk her out of it.

“I’m not going to.” The girl spoke slowly, as to emphasise that she had no intent to go back on her words. Sooyoung appreciated that.

“I just want to know, what do you think doing this will achieve?” Jiwoo spoke softly while placing a small hand on Sooyoung’s. Sooyoung was startled. First because of how cold jiwoo’s hands were and second because of the question she asked.

Sooyoung hasn’t really thought too much about what she would achieve by doing this. Just that she won’t have to deal with her emotions, her parents, her life. There was silence for a few minutes while Sooyoung thought, with Jiwoo waiting on her patiently.

“Well,” Sooyoung started off carefully, trying to think of the right words to use and how to put it.

“Wouldn’t it be nice to be a butterfly?” She finally let out. This response stunned Jiwoo. What did that have to do with anything?

“Excuse me?” Jiwoo questioned. Sooyoung just turned to her, and for the first time Jiwoo seen Sooyoung smile genuinely.

“Being a butterfly, it would be nice right? Just flying around, nothing to worry about, nothing to be sad about. Just flying anywhere you wish. Don’t you think?”

Jiwoo thought long and hard about this response. What exactly was adopting getting at?

“Where would you go? If you were a butterfly?” Jiwoo carefully questioned. Sooyoung looked so happy in this moment, she wanted it to last a little longer if it was possible.

“I’d probably just fly around this riverside. It’s my favourite place you know” Sooyoung breathed out with a nostalgic smile.

“Is that why you want to end it here?” Jiwoo looked into Sooyoung’s eyes, and Sooyoung looked back more serious now.

“Yes, if this was my last sight, I don’t think I’d have any regrets.” Sooyoung looked away now looking to the river again. The sun had now completely vanished. 

“None at all?” Jiwoo clasped her hand around Sooyoung’s.

“None at all.” Sooyoung confirmed.

There was silence between the two girls for a bit. Both just sitting there and staring into the river. The wind had calmed down slightly and shifted into a gentle breeze. The sounds of the daytime drowned out and were replaced by the silence of night.

“You know I was in your position once,” Jiwoo states looking at the dull grey water beneath them. Sooyoung turns to look at Jiwoo, she was shocked with the sudden confession but tried to keep it hidden.

“Contemplating jumping in or not,” She started swinging her legs a small smile still on her face. Sooyoung just looked at her in understanding. After all, she was in that position right now.

Abruptly, Jiwoo stood up. And for the first time since they began speaking jiwoo’s smile left her face as she started at Sooyoung, and Sooyoung stared back.

“I wish I didn’t.”


End file.
